#but objectively lame in terms of funness

[sorchasolas]

It might be Pick Me behavior to make an enlightened Truthwater oc but also when they aren’t enlightened Truthwatchers have objectively the lamest ability set in the Knights Radiant

[officialspec]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though

i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that

people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists

for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)

similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime

to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)

of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week

the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you

social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be

tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it

[hfjonewiki]

please please talk about the osc dark ages. i avoided it for awhile i think. i need to know just how shitty and poorly-made object shows were back then. looks at you with my big wet eyes.

when i talk about the "dark ages" of the osc, i'm specifically talking about a time period spanning from the mid-to-late 2010s.

the "dark ages" are marked by a sudden drop in activity from most popular object shows, and the prominence of cringe culture in that era. around this time, a lot of popular object show creators were at an age where they were now full-time college students, leaving them with very little time to work on their shows. inanimate insanity was releasing about one episode per year at this point, and bfdi was completely inactive. i don't know much about what the huangs were doing during this time, but i do know that for ii, things were MESSY behind the scenes. i followed adam's deviantart journals pretty actively around this time, and he often talked about his struggles with his decision to study animation professionally, and how he was unsure of the show's future. there was actually a time where he briefly stepped down of the director of the show, but it thankfully didn't last long. (fun fact! baseball's monologue in s2e10 about his inability to lead his alliance was ad-libbed by adam, and was a reflection of how he felt about his ability to direct the show and its team at the time.) the inanimate insanity kickstarter was launched towards the tail-end of this time period, and it's extremely likely the show wouldn't have continued at all had it not been funded.

the other major contributor was the rise of "cringe culture". we're talking about a time where youtubers like filthy frank and leafyishere absolutely DOMINATED youtube. the internet was not an environment that appreciated any kind of joyous whimsy and unabashed love of your interests. many osc creators and alumni were in their late teens, which is already an age where you become mildly to severely irony-poisoned, but the culture of the time only made it worse. object shows were seen as Dumb and Lame, even by the people who had spent years of their life working on them. multiple "joke" object shows released, the most famous of which being object redundancy (i actually can't find the year this one released, as its only kept alive via reuploads now, none of which have a date), and my goat, object show 87. if you want to get a feel for the community around this time, os87 is the poster child for it. it's full of edgy and offensive jokes (i mentioned this already, but there's a character who's name is straight up a slur, or at least a very offensive term), outdated references (keemstar is a contestant.), and an almost unrelenting hatred for popular object show tropes. object show 87 is a show that HATES the fact that it's an object show. it's honestly fascinating to me, and i've considered making a video essay on it. and it wasn't even a show made by some randos, object show 87 was made by SAM THORNBURY and XANYLEAVES. these weren't some random assholes with a hateboner for the genre, these were some of the most prolific creators and animators in the community.

it was an absolutely miserable time to be an object show fan. the stream of new episodes and shows had dried up, and what DID come out was just a bunch of edgy teenagers going "haha object shows are so doopid. i am going to say a slur now". it was not a good time to have object show autism.

[wfagamerants]

With my Jamboree hype still in full force, I decided to revisit both previous Switch Mario Parties as a refresher, with some 3, 6, Star Rush and Top 100 on the side to help with some things I wanted to compare.

Mario Party is one of my favorite series in anything and I have been vocal about my relationship with the Switch games being rocky. I was curious to see if the benefit of hindsight changed my views on them.

The answer is one No and one Yes, with some no sprinkled in.

Super Mario Party

This is the big one for me.

From the Hudson games, to the first five NDCube titles, I unironically enjoyed every previous entry, as is well known with all the cheerleading I do for 10 and Star Rush in particular and even Island Tour has some good stuff well worth experiencing.

With all that in mind, it probably comes as a surprise THIS is the one Mario Party I genuinely can’t stand and a revisit did not change my mind one bit.

Not like I didn’t try either, even with my enjoyment of the other NDCube games, of course I was excited to see the old formula back, but that only means so much when it doesn’t do it well and that’s what I really do think is the case here.

Going point by point, as I like to do, I wanna start with one thing I do find praiseworthy…despite not liking it that much, the character roster.

Mario Party usually doesn’t have much going on in terms big roster numbers, so to see one push so far is genuinely refreshing and they did need to put work into it, given the amount of characters that needed to be updated (Hammer Bro and Dry Bones) or never had a playable MP outing period (Pom Pom, Goomba, Monty) not even mentioning all examples here, that stuff is commendable.

I’m just personally not that big on the selection. Losing the Toads really hurts and I am generally more in favor of less mook centric rosters, even if I like all the ones on offer. Pom Pom to me, even as someone who loves the boss characters like the Koopalings, King Boo, Petey, King Bob-omb, etc, is just a really lame and unappealing character, no better than Boom Boom who at least had Strikers to make me warm up to him.

Bowser being playable is also iffy for me. I love the big guy, but taking him out of his usual role has some very drastic consequences in function and flavor, which I am very happy Jamboree is addressing, to give us the best of both worlds, but more on that later.

Objectively, this is a good roster, it’s just very not for me.

Another thing I find praiseworthy and do enjoy is the hub. Dropping regular main menus in favor of an interactive hub where you can walk around and chat with characters is a cute concept I want to return.

Once we get to the actual board gameplay though, the cracks start to show right away.

Everyone already complained about it, even when the game was new and generally praised, but yeah. 4 boards is an absolutely abysmal number and that could at least be salvageable if they were all good and fun to play on but….you already know where this is going.

I will say, I do love the themes. As much as I think the previous games did more with the NSMB tropes than they are given credit for, it’s great to go back to something more original again. They are cool themes, they are visually great, that stuff all works out.

Too bad they’re really bad boards.

It’s been talked about to death, but yeah, the boards are incredibly tiny and small boards don’t even need to be bad. DS had smaller boards and did such a good job with them you barely felt it, on top of to me, being a Top 5 Mario Party.

Not only are Super’s boards even smaller than the ones for the game that HAD to scale them back, but they are also very linear, with little in the way of interesting gimmicks or alternate routes.

You can call most MP boards, aside from deliberately linear ones like Pagoda Peak, basically big circles or squares. That’s fine, they are BOARDS after all, it’s more what you can do on them that matters and makes you not even notice that.

King Bob-omb’s Powderkeg mine feels like the closest to  an aversion to this and even it just amounts to choosing either the smaller circle or the larger circle, to run in circles in. There is simply nothing interesting going on and the events are too basic and lame to distract from it.

What doesn’t help is that Super made some changes to fundamental aspects of MP we take for granted and it really says a lot about how well thought out those elements were.

For one thing, the Dice has been reduced from a 1-10 to a 1-6. This was already a thing in 9 and 10, but in those games you were all in the same vehicle and progressed together, it was way more about wanting the best result out of your current situation. In Super, being a classic style MP again, it just makes progression feel fundamentally more sluggish, since cutting down the dice numbers so hard means you will go by nature, much slower and the odds of barely going anywhere are way higher.

There is also just the general lack of truly threatening obstacles on the boards. This especially shows with Bowser being playable. Gimmicks like him being on the board like MP1 and MP4’s Bowser’s Gnarly Party are off the table, as is him having his own board or game specific ideas like Bowser Time in MP7. Instead of Bowser Spaces we now have Bad Luck spaces.

They Suck. Really hard.

The penalties are just not threatening and the game feels rigged to prioritize the tamest one. The coin penalties barely hurt, losing an item is really not that big a deal here, the star moving is rarely anything but a non-punishment, etc. They do get a bit more punishing during the last 3 turns, but not only does that window give them little time to come into play, but even losing a star is less of a big deal than it would usually be, for one particular reason.

The economy in SMP is totally out of whack. 

Now second and third place also get coin rewards in minigames, which WAS a thing in 9 and 10 as well, but in those games that had more of a purpose, given the much more limited control during board play for everyone. In a classic Mario Party though, this already has implications and it only gets worse with other elements thrown in.

It just doesn’t feel that rewarding to be good at minigames,  because even if you play well, you may not even build up much of a lead, with Hidden Blocks, Hidden Block items and Lucky Spaces that can give coin rewards in abundance and ALL that is combined with how little everything costs.

Stars cost only 10 coins and combined with how small the boards are, getting to one rarely feels like a hassle. Even stealing a star only costs 30 coins and items are remarkably cheap and that’s on top of there being so few events that really threaten your coin count. King Bob-omb is really the only one that makes a real attempt there.

All of that results in really dull board play. More than ever the game really is all about the dice roll, with nothing from the board layout, to events, to the items, doing anything interesting to let you strategize or anything like that.

There’s also the small annoyance of them finding it necessary to give you needless tutorials and tips, like when you open the map or getting an item for the first time, which you can’t disable. 

On a final note for the board play are the allies and ally spaces, as well as custom dice, all taken from Star Rush. A lot of people dislike them, but I do find their implementation to be the most interesting thing on SMP’s boards. Supremely unbalanced, it needs another pass there, but I can see interesting potential for it in a MP with boards of more substance.

There is also Partner Party, which is essentially the Star Rush mode of the game and as Star Rush fan, I should love it.

Eh.

I appreciate the thought, but you can’t do free for alls, There are way fewer opportunities to get and especially steal allies and the boards continue to be void of anything interesting. Even just playing the 4 boards it had once each, with the minimum Turn count of 10, felt like a slog.

Then there are the minigames, which I often see praise for and honestly, they’re okay enough, but I do find the overall selection pretty meh.

It has genuine highlights, Slaperazi, Croozin’ For A Broozin’, Don’t Wake Wiggler and Fuzzy Flight School all being ones I really like for instance and I don’t hate the motion controls, I think they work fine.

It’s really not so much that there are a lot of bad minigames and more that it misses types I really like. There are no platforming minigames, no brawling minigames where you just punch and kick other players off of a platform, only one mashing minigame, etc. That’s on top of the fact that I feel a lot of the rumble minigames are really samey. There are like three separate minigames where you use the rumble to select the biggest/most of the thing you are meant to get.

There is also a general major sense of reduced player interactivity that plays into this and the most blatant example of it for me is comparing Hammer Drop from Mario Party 1 (and Superstars) to Super’s very own Lightning Round.

They are very similar coin minigames, but there is a major difference that sets them apart. While the hammers and lightning strikes both aren’t much of a threat, Hammer Drop lets you jump to swipe the incoming coins and coin bags, even jumping on opponents and hindering them or even ground pound opponents to hold them back. In Lightning Round, that interactive element doesn’t exist and everyone is just slowly running to the coins, while dodging total non-obstacles.

That example sums up a lot of why I find SMP’s minigame selection to be just not as interesting as the rest of the series and it also contributes to a stylistic difference I am not fond of at all.

I always loved Mario Party for being a more zany kind of Mario game, putting the characters in all kinds of wacky scenarios and to be fair, Super isn’t FULLY devoid of it. It’s still a rare time you see, say, Peach, helplessly chased by a giant Wiggler or Broozer army entirely as a gag at her expense one moment and then the next she pilots a big Sidestepper mech to whack Bowser with hammers with. That stuff is just awesome.

Super just has very little of it, due to the lack of interesting board gimmicks and action-heavy minigames and even what is there is heavily scaled back. Like characters just go into their dizzy animations when a Bob-omb blows up on them, rather than flying off-screen and said Sidestepper mech minigame just flings the characters away with a generic flail the game uses for almost every single negative event, as opposed to the other MPs which will just totally crush the character.

Is it pure flavor? Yeah, but I like flavor, flavor is good. MP just has a particular personality to it that Super doesn’t capture. It has plenty of personality in other areas, but it is missing a particular aspect I thought helped make the games really energetic, competitive and cartoonishly charming. It’s as if Mario took a page out of Wario’s playbook to be more wacky and I miss that.

Having said all that, one area the game does quite well in are the side modes. Champions Road is a perfectly functional ‘’Play all the Minigames’’ mode and Toad’s Rec Room hosts some minigames I honestly wish had regular play counterparts.

River Survival is decent, not something you can go back to much, but it’s a neat concept that at its hardest, does offer a challenge and its own minigames are pretty enjoyable for the most part.

Sound Stage meanwhile is the big star of Super as a whole for me. I love the rhythm minigame approach, there is a great energy to it, it’s got some lovely charm with all the dance animations for the cast (Waluigi’s moonwalk being the best, just sayin’), it’s just a good time. At most I wish I found the music more catchy, but it does its job at being fun to play along with.

I didn’t mean to be as negative as this likely came across, but it is just how it is. While it has some content I really like and ideas I think have potential, SMP on the whole I just do not like at all. It brought back the classic formula, while totally butchering it and it’s just all around lacking in so many things I like about the series. I went back to it to see if time and benefit of hindsight changed my mind and sadly no, if anything I have only grown to dislike it more.

Mario Party Superstars

By contrast, Superstars won me over on several things I was iffy on. I still have my gripes, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised.

One not pleasant surprise since the game came out, to start similarly to the Super section, is the roster. It’s small, it’s lame, we all know that. Of course character choice rarely affects anything in MP, but as I said, flavor is good and besides: When a series makes this much money and makes so heavy use of reused models, animations and voice clips across games, I do expect it to at least be able to compete with games that came out in the 2000s in terms of content in all places.

Speaking of which, this game is a bit funny to evaluate because it is all remakes of older content, but there is still plenty to talk about.

First there are the boards, five in total. Only one more than Super in terms of quantity, but they are all so much better than all of Super’s boards combined that they may as well be four boards more than Super had. That said a 6th board would have been appreciated, ideally they wouldn’t have just a N64 focus, but if they really wanna then at least give 3 a second board.

The board selection itself is quite pleasing. It has Horror Land so that alone is already a slam dunk, but there is a good quality level all around. The lack of a proper finale board is felt and I would have rather had a second MP3 board than two from MP1, simply because the former has much more interesting board design, but as it is, it’s fine.

Peach’s Birthday Cake made me roll my eyes when I saw it, but it turned out to be the most pleasant surprise of the whole game. The addition of items, a shortcut ramp and Bowser also doubling as a short-cut, if with a penalty, along with the lottery being moved, makes getting around and actually getting stars is far smoother and quicker. This also makes star stealing Piranha Plants far more of a threat, since there actually is something to steal now and that’s on top of there also being coin stealing Piranha Plants now.

This game turned what I thought was easily the worst Hudson era board and turned it into my second favorite one in this game. I am still stunned to this day and the improvements made to it show some really smart thinking that makes me optimistic for Jamboree’s new original boards.

The other boards haven’t seen any major changes and that’s perfectly fine. Playing Yoshi’s Tropical Island with items is a fun new experience though.

The actual board play has improved a lot, on top of playing on actually good boards, the coin distribution after minigames has been reworked to give the winner 10 coins again instead of only 8, with second and third only getting 2 and 3 respectively, making minigame wins far more of a benefit to build up a lead again. Stars are also back to the usual 20 coins and Bowser is back and as punishing as his spaces always are, so seeing harsh loses through that and the returning Chance Time brings back a ton of value to coins and stars that they largely lost in Super.

One new addition that’s consistent across all boards is Lucky Spaces, functioning the  same as in Super. The coin and item rewards you get from those can be really extreme and coupled with how many of these spaces there are, it gives the game a pretty chaotic feeling at times. For this particular game, I’m cool with it for this game, but ideally future games cool it a bit with these things.

There are also some nice QoL additions that once again, give me a lot of confidence for Jamboree. The generally increased game speed is a plus. Getting to choose between random Bonus Stars and the classic three is a feature that always should have been there. Getting to save up to 8 sessions, even online ones, is incredible and having the option to speed up board event scenes is a godsend for ones you may see many times in a row.

So yeah, the board game portion to me is a total hit in this game. The minigames are where I get more mixed. Not counting item minigames there are 100 in total and over half of those were already in Top 100. Not a bad thing by itself, but it does make some choices made bother me even more. Also not a fan of the N64 focus on the minigames as well, since it not only throws out a lot of good minigames, but it also screws over the GameCube and Wii & Wii U minigame packs, which would have been really cool options with a bigger selection.

Despite the latter gripe, I think the selection is….okay. It has it’s winners, particularly Hot Rope Jump and Dungeon Duos, but also some really notable stinkers like Spin Doctor, which wasn’t even in Top 100, so they deliberately picked that over something like Camp Ukiki or Apes of Wrath from the same game, genuinely bewildering. Duel Minigames in general really got the short end of the stick with only 5 in total and of all things, they pick stuff like Spin Doctor (which is at least okay) or Mass Meteor (one of MP6’s few stinkers).

Top 100 wasn’t perfect in that regard either, but I found its overall selection way more consistently solid and satisfying.That and bringing back certain minigames a third time just baffles me. Piranha’s Pursuit is a really bad minigame in all its incarnations, that can way too easily turn into a free win for the one player. It was a weird choice in Top 100, but bringing it back again in Superstars, without any changes for the better, really pushes it.

It’s still largely a good selection, it’s just easy to see the cracks when you have older versions to compare these games to and some did get butchered a bit. Tidal Toss’ hitboxes for the biggest waves not matching the visuals in particular being a NASTY example.

The characters also make far more grunts in many of the minigames and...yeah they can get pretty insufferable, especially with how small the pool of voice clips in this game is, compared to say, MP10, which had two minutes worth of clips for everyone.

There is also a case where the game still feels like holds back on bit on Mario Party’s old personality, with alterations to some minigames, for some examples:

You don’t see losing players bounce away in the lava anymore in Bumper Balls, they just vanish.

Several minigames replace more distinct damage poses with the generic flail, even if the more appropriate animation is elsewhere in Superstars.

The characters just lamely fall off the record in Dizzy Dancing, instead of crashing into the walls.

Squared Away lost it’s ending animation, which was already a thing in Top 100, the only time it took something like that away, but that had an excuse due to it using a generic minigame results screen like the other NDCube games did before.

Even taking the slapstick aside, replaying 3 in particular really revealed how many small things got cut for more generic animations. Hide and Sneak in particular has the characters just all do a heads down ducking pose, as opposed to the original where everyone had a distinct one, like DK adjusting his tie or Mario lying down.

Again, all this is flavor, but it sticks out even more when you are remaking content and if the roster is gonna be that small, going the extra mile on a few things would be appreciated.

It feels weird too, because the game oozes personality in so many other areas.

The title screens are all lovely.

The board ending pics and loser elimination sequences at the end of a round are very classic Mario Party.

The way characters literally pull out maps when you study the board map is amazing.

The dismayed reactions everyone has when landing on a Bowser space are great.

The Stickers are a fun evolution of taunts that can express way more.

Really, the game is full of great personality, it’s just in the minigames where some of the old charm they had gets weirdly sanded off.

Lastly there is online which is as functional as one could hope for. Has its hick-ups, but for Nintendo standards it’s fine. It’s not a disaster ala’ Mario Maker 2.

All nitpicking aside, this is a good game and a good Mario Party. I don’t think it’s one of the best ones, but the QoL additions and generally really solid board gameplay show the potential for it is there.

More than anything it feels like a testing ground to study the old board designs and test out things like the online, rather than something meant to be big on its own. I didn’t even touch on side content because there really is nothing to discuss.

Good game, but I was waiting for the next big thing and now it’s finally happening.

Super Mario Jamboree

My thoughts back here still apply and are very up to date, since we haven’t seen anything new since:

Playing the other two games again just really put into perspective how many things already got improved from one game to the next and it makes me all the more hopeful for Jamboree.

I have no doubt it will be the MP I have been waiting for all gen and I couldn’t be more excited~

[roadandruingame]

RAR Musings #11: Rebuilding A System

I engaged in a reddit thread discussing "killing your darlings" lately, where they wanted their game to be "simple and approachable", "narratively driven", and "introduce elements of mech games that enthusiasts enjoy, but to people who aren't enthusiasts."

"Killing Your Darlings" has blown up as a game design buzzphrase people use to appear more experienced and wise than they actually are. Often, it's a bid to appear better read, or "oh woe is me, who must relinquish my idea to the void. Good thing I'm above all that, professional designer that I am, that I can sacrifice my preferences and ideals for the greater good," but for a single tear rolling down the cheek, but in this case, it was a genuine argument about whether something would contribute to the final product well or not.

I don't personally define a game with equipment heat, energy costs, and random lookup tables for an assortment of weapons in a catalogue to be "simple and approachable" for non-mech enthusiasts, nor particularly necessary for a "narratively driven" game, but I'm more upset about "narrative game" getting slapped on a lot of different products that don't actually have mechanics for driving a narrative. The 'stress' mechanic that they were dropping would actually give definition to the characters of the game, if the game's narrative was about said characters, but by removing it in favor of player agency, it's just... it's just a game. Not a story.

I fought about it, and offered some alternatives. Rather than a negative mechanic that removes player agency, why not a Brave mechanic, granting extra rewards for engaging in risk? Why have all these different mech parts, why not just have Parts, if non-mech enthusiasts weren't going to care? Why not come up with mechanics that actually DO tell a narrative, rather than just relying on DND-make believe?

The more I thought about it, the more mad I got, not just at the designer, but at myself, and Road and Ruin.

I don't like the phrase, Killing Your Darlings, to begin with. It implies that your idea is so specific, so inherent to the engine you're designing for, that there's absolutely no salvaging it. A new species, that winks in and out of existence, a twinkle, before you snuff it out, never to be seen again. Why not figure out a way for it to be used! Or if it doesn't fit or overworks the product, shelve it! Use it on a different project! Don't let your dreams be memes! You're a designer, not a farmer with a lame horse!

But I had invested so much time, so much design work, and been so pleased with the elegance of Road and Ruin's core resolution mechanic, that after coming to terms with the fact that it was bulky, time-consuming, involved adding too many numbers, and ultimately wasn't actually very fun, I resisted any notion of changing it. Even later, when I DID change proficiency from affecting the minimum dice value of the d10s, into being a flat value added to the d10s, the system still involved adding anywhere from 2-5 random values between 1 and 10, and then the proficiency value besides.

So why was I so willing to tear into this objectively decent mech game, and do so much design work trying to come up with ways to simplify it, when I wasn't willing to entertain simplifying Road and Ruin for a more enjoyable experience and a wider audience?

_______________________

I woke up the other day with a sudden idea.

Road and Ruin's core skill resolution system might involve too much math hinging on too many variables, but what about the combat system?

It was another system I'd done some major work on over time, but unlike skill checks, only really involved one dice roll, and no math after. I started to think how I might actually make the combat system the core skill check system, thus unifying the game under one mechanic, and being a lot faster, and more fun besides.

The gist of it is, that when making an attack in combat, you'd roll a d4 (Piercing/Accurate), d8 (Slash/Scrape, edged contact), or d12 (Bashing/Touch, only contact is necessary), subtracting the target's armor, and +/- an amount based on who had the edge in weapon skill. A 1 or less is a miss, and above half is full damage, based on a flat value determined by the weapon's weight, minus any lacking Strength needed to swing it. Anything in between is a Glancing Blow for half damage. There's also the Special system as well, but I'll leave that for another post; the point was, I wanted combat to come away having inflicted SOME damage each attack, rather than none, but for there to be a real fear of both heavily armored units, as well as expert swordsmen.

But what if that was how skill checks worked? Currently, the system assumes an average 2d10, up to 5d10, adding (proficiency/10 x specialization/5), and looks for multiples of 10; that is, 10+ is 1 success, 20+ is 2 successes, 30+ is 3, with successes being measures of what a creature can easily, with training, and with specialization do, relative to a creature of it's size and shape. An adult human can toss paper into a can with a 1; a wolf might be able to open a latched door with a 2-3, or 25. Blessings/Curses and gear could modify this in multiple ways, such as preventing rolls below or above a certain threshold, or allowing the reroll of one or more die.

If skill checks were instead a sliding scale, using a single d10, difficulty could be calculated before the roll was even made, like the impact of 2 points of armor on an attack roll. By sliding the scale of success, even physically using a sliderule, results of (1 Fail/And, 234 Fail, 5 Fail/But, 6 Succeed/But, 789 Success, and 10 Success/And) are moved left and right, and the die is left with the final say. Specializations can reduce the threshold of Succeed/And, while greater consequences for failure move up the threshold of Fail/And.

If 10% increments are too much, (especially for disciplines where the likelyhood of crafting a masterwork item should be less than 10%), a d100 still offers a "one dice" solution, but on 1% increments. In that case, the threshold for masterwork can be "specialization x proficiencies", and anyone with even one specialization can make repeat attempts, so long as they have the time and resources, to continue chiseling away until they've finished their magnum opus, gaining +1% chance of masterwork each roll, whereas a legendary master completes such works on a 50% basis.

In terms of gear, supportive equipment can either reduce the Success/And threshold, the regular success threshold, or allow for a reroll 'save' when rolling a failure, such as in the case of climbing rope stopping a fall. But, in each case that the support is used, it suffers a level of damage, and the Fail/And threshold of the follow-up save increases. Past a certain point, using intact, but damaged rope ends up being more risky than it's worth, without it explicitly preventing use.

In the case of blessings and curses, they can allow rerolls, or just flat +1/-1 effects. What I'm really warming up to with this idea is how just about everything boils down to using the single die, but in a way that's still got a lot of tools to play with.

________________

Now some cons. I'd done a LOT of work on the earlier system, and designed lots of spells, such as the Revision magic, Lethologica, a spell that allows the reroll of any one die in proximity, both supportively or debilitatingly. This was a lot more balanced when you were rolling 2-5 dice per throw, but a single die? Massively overpowered. I'd rather not upgrade the cost of what was essentially a cantrip to a fifth-level spell, so I'm going to have to figure out how I'd get to keep it and make it work still. One solution might be forcing the use of the d100, and having Lethologica alter the result by a number of points in either direction, being used to help sway results, but not effortlessly overturn them. It allows for spell scaling, with more mana converting to a greater degree of sway, and still allows sway in either direction, helping to save near-failures and fail near-saves.

Another issue is the case of Monstrous/Mini. When I changed RAR from being a 10-scale attribute system to a 5-scale, I was bothered by how I'd account for three-story giants, pixies, and small-world scenarios. I'd developed Monstrous and Mini, x5 and /5 multipliers for stats that helped to massively scale up or down the effects of 1-5 of any given attribute. So, a creature with Monstrous Strength 3 would multiply the results of their 3d10 roll by 2. Monstrous 2 Strength 4 would get (4d10 x 3). Boss monsters could still get trash rolls (2+3+1 x 2 is just 12, doable on 2d10) but still get high effects on average. Miniscule, on the other hand, reduces the character's Size by a stage, having them struggle to pick up thimbles and defend against ants. This complete overhaul of the core skill check resolution system doesn't have "10 = 1 success" anymore, so multiplying the results doesn't really work; not that it did, because it was slow, and unfun.

A solution for this is... a lookup table. Kind of. The actual value of each of the stats, 1-5, are actually still quite valid for establishing standards. If a creature has reasonable stats to do what they're looking to do, they should roll, no problem. If their stat is lacking, they suffer a -1 for every stage they're missing, and if they exceed, +1 for every stage they're over. But for Monstrous/Mini, like... maybe it's +/- 5 in each direction? And if Fail would get pushed off the board, it stays at 1, causing a chance for failure of 10%? I mean, engaging in a mental mindclash with an illithid SHOULD be next to impossible with their Monstrous Intelligence, but just the chance that they roll a 1 is probably more fun than "you literally just can't do it".

The question here is, if players who are generating their own creatures have a solid understanding of what Monstrous/Miniscule creatures are actually DO, without getting to experience them in action first. And, since the game actually IS narrative in nature, I don't see an issue with placing impossible monsters in front of players that they're not actually supposed to defeat, really. But it feels weird to not be multiplying the outcome of dice anymore.

[muchmuch-xii]

Morine is a character I created a long, long time ago. I was still in secondary school. Since then, I've grown up, but she hasn't. And I abandoned her for a long time.

I was focused on other things, my friends, my family, other projects. Then during the lockdown I came back to her. I drew her, rewrote her story and drew her again. It was the first time I'd drawn a character I'd created. Before that, I'd only made copies or fan art. I was proud. I realized for the first time that I was capable of drawing something myself.

Well, with hindsight today I find her very ugly, but that's not the point !

Thanks to her, I met a friend with whom I've been in daily contact ever since. She inspired me to write again. She gave me the courage to create other characters that I love do much.

And then I abandoned her again. My studies took up a lot of space and, above all, another character occupied all my thoughts. After rewriting Morine's story, I decided to take on a much older character. I rewrote her whole life, her history, her past, her design, her way of being, her relationships. It took time, a lot of time, and energy. I couldn't think of Morine and this character at the same time. So I left her out.

Then, a little over a year ago, I decided to focus on Morine again. And I couldn't believe how lame the character was ! She was flat ! No depth ! A real Mary Sue... Normal ! She had been written by a 15-year-old girl. And when I rewrote her, I didn't yet have the creative tools I have now.

So I started all over again. I've changed her name : back then, she was called Kabune, which meant "cub" in japanese. You can make the connection with the wolfhound in the old drawings. I changed her character, her story, her interactions with the other characters. As a result, Morine is hardly the same character as Kabune.

There were a few hitches too. For example, I had trouble coming up with a new name. In Noragami, names are important, so the author often plays with kanji to make them interesting and meaningful. But I don't speak Japanese. So I had to rely on online translators... Big mistake !

Morine means Forest + the suffix Ne, which is significant to the Yato group. All his Shinkis have a name ending in Ne. Yukine, Kazune, Tomone. Since Morine has a special connection with the woods, I wanted a name that meant that word. Quite simply ! Except that in French, we have a homonym between the word for wood and the verb to drink, conjugated in the present tense. Can you feel the problem coming ? My translator translated the verb to drink in Japanese instead of wood, so I ended up with a name that, while very pretty, didn't really mean anything ! Nomune…

I realized this when talking to someone who was learning a little Japanese. I was disgusted! So I settled on the word Forest, and here I am with Morine. Which I think is beautiful and suits her perfectly.

Another problem : spoilers at the end of Noragami.

I wanted Morine to transform into a deer. Since Shinkis have the ability to transform into either an object or an animal, I thought it would be interesting in terms of the story I wanted to tell with her ! Except that in the meantime, the final chapters of Noragami have been released, and guess what ? Yukine has unlocked this ability ! This little rascal turns into a wolf. It's very stylish, but I was pissed off. Fun fact, in her first version, Morine (Kabune at the time) also turned into a wolf.

But despite all that, today I think I've found a story that suits me. A story that suits her, coherent and interesting. I'm missing a few details that will come in time, but I know what I want to tell. And even though no one gives a damn, no one reads these posts or cares about my work, I can't wait to write it so I can say to myself again : I did it ! I created her by myself.

[darksideofparis]

DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Can we agree Bi-Generation was a stupid idea? Felt like a very..cheap and anticlimactic way to introduce Ncuti as 15 and him having to spend his first few post Toymaker moments comforting and supporting "14" (*cough* 10.3 *cough*) felt like a disservice to Ncuti's start as The Doctor and a lazy way to keep David in and appease the idiots who have been making racist remarks about Ncuti.

Sidenote- Love and hate 15 acknowledging that Sarah Jane is gone

Yes, I HATE the bi-regeneration plot! To those who love the plot, please be warned a rant about this whole thing is below, in case you want to avoid it.

It has literally never been mentioned (to my knowledge, at least) in any Whoniverse material in the last sixty years, so what the hell is RTD doing just dropping it in now? The basics of regeneration have been, more or less, a constant since the very first one.

Honestly, RTD, if it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT!

I agree, this was nothing more than shameless fan-service to appease not just the racists making disparaging remarks against Ncuti (and it should be noted, that while they're vocal, it is literally a minority of people who feel that way) as well as to appease all the fans who were crying about not wanting to see David Tennant go again.

Look, I love David Tennant. He is a phenomenal actor and anything he's in is guaranteed to be good, or at least he will be amazing in it, but seriously. Enough DT. When the seventieth comes around, I don't want him in it. Let someone else have some time to shine. This whole bi-generation and letting 14 stick around defeats the entire purpose of regeneration and the show as a whole. To quote Peter Capaldi's Doctor, "Everything ends, and that's always sad. But everything begins again too, and that's always happy."

In addition, the whole thing, in my opinion, takes the attention off Ncuti. Just like Jodie Whittaker's regeneration, the whole thing is overshadowed by DT's Doctor. Ncuti absolutely shined in the scenes he was in, but we didn't get all the classic hallmarks of post-regen Doctors: the regeneration sickness, the outfit picking, seeing the TARDIS for the first time, etc. Instead, 14 sees 15's new jukebox-holding console room. We don't really get a reaction from 15. And that's really disappointing and just insulting.

I don't object to the idea of the Doctor pausing travels for a while to come to terms with everything that's happened to them, but are we really supposed to believe 14 spends the rest of his days living in the copy TARDIS in Donna's backyard? A few weeks or months would be plausible, but I can't buy the rest of his days, watching Donna and the others grow older and eventually die.

Back to the whole bi-regeneration itself. . . The whole thing is never really explained. All they say in the episode is that it was considered a myth on Gallifrey. But what specifically does it entail? Are 14 and 15 two completely separate individuals now? When 14 dies, is that it? Would he regenerate into 15? And if so, would that mean there's just now two separate Doctors running around or would he somehow merge with his future self? Is it a time loop of some kind?

Just. . .really annoying. If RTD is going to introduce a game-changing concept, the least he could do is spend five minutes explaining it to the audience, instead of leaving us to do guesswork.

This just really sucks, because I LOVED 'The Star Beast' and 'Wild Blue Yonder'. The first half of this episode was *chef's kiss*. But then the last half fell flat. Too reminiscent of the Chibnall era, in my opinion: introduce a shocking new concept but spend very little time properly explaining/having the characters reacting to it. The Toymaker wasn't as much of a threat as he was hinted to be, though Neil Patrick Harris definitely had fun with the role, lol. It would have made far more sense if he was responsible for 14's face coming back as some kind of twisted gameplay, instead of some lame "It was you coming home".

And, on a purely selfish note, how the hell am I supposed to write my OCs in this, lol?!? Do they stay with 14 or go off with 15? Lol, long time away though in my writing, so maybe we'll actually get some concrete resolution/explanation about bi-regeneration before then.

Okay, rant over. With the caveat that I, too, love/hate them acknowledging Sarah Jane is gone.

[its-no-biggie]

i love being easily impressed.... rewatching rvb 15 for the 3rd or 4th time KNOWING that a lot of it doesnt make sense and isnt well made, but all the charming character moments and cliche dramatic moments make it enjoyable anyway. yeah, theres way too much screentime before the reds and blues even show up, theres a whole fake villain buildup with a lame payoff, the blues and reds just. dont work conceptually, the villains plan is absurd to the point of unbelievable, and the climax hinges on a locus ex machina....... and yeah, these do make it less enjoyable than it could be. but theres a lot of stuff that makes it fun to watch!

while a lot of the new characters fall flat, the old ones have some really good development- sarges retirement crisis, caboose coming to terms with churchs death (again), grif leaving the team

i LOVE temple as a villain- the show really toes the line between being genuinely dramatic and making fun of him for taking himself too seriously.

the whole episode where we see what the reds and blues have been up to since chorus always KILLS me- sarge fighting against gravity?? donut burning down a WATER PARK?? "we said we wouldnt talk about that!" absolute gold.

the scene where temple lures wash and carolina into a death trap and monologues at them!! SO good

every single grimmons interaction??? the scene where everyone turns and leaves but simmons is still staring after grif. the full episode after grif leaves where simmons does nothing but talk about grif. and i dont even need to mention The Scene...... agh. so good

like. is it objectively the best season? not even close. is it still my favourite to watch? somehow, YES??? idk, i just love it! so many good character moments and such a FUN villain. i firmly believe that the series should have ended at 13 (or even earlier: i say 13 bc it was such a conclusive ending, but the show definitely started going downhill before that), but im simultaneously glad it didnt because i really enjoy season 15

anyway. obviously the other side to easily enjoying media is that its hard for me to analyze with a critical eye, because "if i like it, then it must be good!" (which is just not true, even though it feels like it should be.) but hey, at least im having a good time

[website-com]

CW mentions of self-harm specifically cutting (rant about jokes online, discussed in the abstract. not very interesting, not worth feeling uncomfortable reading)

ive never seen a single joke made about the type of s/h that springs to mind when you read the word that didnt feel intensely uncomfortable to read or hear. i dont think its something that is good to make jokes about on say instagram reels because it is something that young people who're prone to being intensely online are Extremely vulnerable to and seeing their favourite creators or even just a fun looking stranger make a casual joke about it could have crazy knock on effects. (cont including examples of jokes under the squiggle)

these days i feel like every alternate fashion person or online personality is like 'me because if i got close enough to a barcode scanner it would go off' or whatever framed in a sort of cute, casual tone that indicates they dont see it as a big deal.

but theres this look in their eye as they tell it, i always see it, that is always so present in people who engage with passive or perhaps the term is 'non-suicidal' (self harm without the intent to end ones life by doing the action) with the intent of having a way to prove their internal pain (there are many reasons a person may do so but this is a common one) asking for you to make it worth it. for you to worry. for it to have worked. to earn the care they lacked. its so fucked up to see. it makes my skin crawl. especially because there are kids who will see it working, will see the nice comments, and think 'oh, thats all i have to do'. its weird. its both a much bigger deal than people realise and not a big deal at all. i wish people would understand the consequences of their actions. theres a reason for its uptick after the rise of social media. you are allowed to do, say, draw whatever you like, but you could hurt someone else. you do have a responsibility when posting to an app like instagram that has a randomised algorithm, or any algorithm at all. if someone can see it without seeking it out then its dangerous to post it

plus like what if someones whos trying to quit sees that? youre going to trigger them in some way or another, right? or youre going to make them feel that the only way to be rewarded is to make a joke of their own. thus continuing it. and no putting a 'CW' at the top is not enough. (i know this post has one. im posting this to my tumblr that is not teenage in its audience or content so i feel safe doing so. i dont have a 'minors DNI' because that has never worked, i just post content i feel is more appealing to people my age. if you guys are vulnerable i hope i have written this in a manner that is detached enough from emotional triggers that if you chose to read it you are able to engage with the subject objectively instead of subjectively)

also cringe is such a powerful weapon. if cool people talk about s/h it will seem cool, but if you literally just make it seem kinda lame people will stop. im not kidding. such a hard thing to navigate because obviously people need love and support but ive literally seen people stop engaging in self harming behaviours because they though it was kinda cringe.

even the way ive described it here, how i see it as a cry for someone to care when someone makes a joke about it, is appealing. it makes it appealing. its cooked man. i dunno

[crystalelemental]

Apparently Reddit is doing some Pasio Awards thing, where they have people nominate the best options in particular categories.  It’s neat, though definitely lacking any like...consistency.  “Best” is ill-defined, seeming to cover literally any criteria, so you have people arguing based on performance, interest in the duo, or even just the character’s outfit.  Which feels a bit wonky.

Anyway I’m gonna share my stance on it all because I love talking.

Best Masterfair In any realistic, combat-focused answer, it’s SST Red.  He can literally solo the entire game.  This is not an exaggeration.  Every LG stage can be soloed by him at 3/5.  There is no other unit that comes close to his level of power.

But that’s lame, and units that can do everything without issue are no fun.  So I have a hard time saying that he’s actually “The best” in any other sense.  “You’re gonna say SS Kris, aren’t you?”  Not if I’m being entirely objective.  Like, yeah, if I’m being the way I am, I absolutely think she’s the best, but that’s for later.  In this category, I’d say SS Lyra.  100% flinch is neat, but not functionally distinct from sleep.  What puts her apart, however, is that this being a natural passive makes it so you can queue the next move before your opponent can change their action.  This means SS Lyra is the perfect disruption machine, because she pulls this off but doesn’t throw off your turn order.  Even more significant is that she does all of this with no gauge cost if Grassy Terrain is active.

I think this it’s the fact that Lyra is, at once, a powerhouse sync nuker and unbelievable lockdown utility that can shut down a majority of the game, that sets her apart.  She’s a unit who can benefit literally any team composition.  This is something I feel SST Red doesn’t do.  He’s a solo machine, but he’s not really that helpful to anyone outside of Electric Terrain.  Paralysis is one-time use, and the defense drops are nice but take longer to set up than a Leer bot or Lucian would.  As a result, SST Red feels very specific, and very...almost reliant on 3/5?  Like he can do a lot 1/5 too, but he’s no longer solo master, and then weakens substantially.  And Master Fairs, in my mind, are differentiated from PokeFairs by their 1/5 sufficiency.  Their best tools are available at 1/5, most often.  SST Red’s are very much not.  So I’m giving this one to Lyra, whose 1/5 utility is unbelievable even at base.

Best PokeFair My vote’s on SS Cyrus.  Similar reasons to SS Lyra, in that his utility alone is incredible, while being backed by great sync damage.  But I think this also counts in terms of like...the cool factor.  I love Gen 4, and that includes Explorers of Sky.  So the combination of Cyrus from the main series and Darkrai from the mystery dungeons games was a really, really cool idea.  I adore this combination.  Nothing has beaten it all year.  Not for lack of trying, but you know.

Best Seasonal I am contractually obligated to say Winter Jasmine.  And legitimately, I can't think of anything that comes close.  She's an ideal unit; perfect design, perfect partner, fantastic role with broad application.   Absolutely nothing compares.

Best Special Costume It's Rosa.  Look, there are only five of them, and the teatime alts are good but come on.  SC Rosa's ridiculous.  Top performer for Grass-type DPS and Sync damage, and packs special defense debuffs per attack to the tune of -2 per hit, also hits special attack -2 per hit, but also can use the special attack debuff as part of her AoE -2 evasion debuff.  She's a perfected Cresselia counter.  Then you add in that her trainer move carries an effective Dire Hit All effect for team support even when she's not the primary focus, and then also packs Potion with a potential Friend Mend to remove status...Rosa does a metric ton in a single unit.  A top performer in a heavily contested typing, with tremendous utility besides.  10/10, best SC.

Best Spotlight If anyone tries to tell you it’s not Lucian, it’s because they’re in the pocket of Big Gacha and are trying to sell you more microtransactions.  "But what about Courtney?  Ground Zone is so good!"  For a single type.  A type that she supports decently but not well without Ingo present, because of her tremendous gauge issues that are wildly compounded alongside SS Giovanni and Maxie.  Comparatively, Lucian is a blanket support with nigh-universally beneficial traits.  Special defense drops are tremendous, and attack drops are great for any team's survival.  But then you pack in speed buffs as well.  And now it's like wow, that guy's pretty good, but it must be tough to decide on what to use when.  What's that?  Oh, he does all of that in a single move, that's only a one-bar spam?  Oh okay, very normal, thanks Lucian.  This is a guy who enables Pecking Order, Smarty-Pants, and Inertia sync nukers, all at the same time.  He enables every special attacker.  He counterpicks purely offensive stages like Cobalion and Tapu Bulu.  And that’s before you realize this is all 1/5.  You don’t need anything beyond the one copy.  But if you get him 3/5?  Now he’s one of the top sync nukers in a wildly competitive typing.  And this dude is in the general pool.  You can pull for him with free scout tickets.  This is a PokeFair they accidentally demoted.  Lucian rules.

Best Masters Day Expansion This seems to be specific to general pool 5* expansions, so I'll do common grids separate.  In which case...it's Kris.  I think there's a good case for Cynthia, who got a tremendous overhaul on her sync, but Kris was downright lifechanging.  +150% sync, +50% move, fixes all accuracy issues, gets a massive +40 attack bonus, and can even self-buff crit.  Base Kris is nuts now, and I'm living for it.

Best 5/5 Expansion Lysandre.  Everyone's saying it, and they're right.  Lysandre was a fantastic pick for Gauntlet, thanks to his constant recovery effects.   Dude's legitimately great. His main problem was always low sync damage and lack of multipliers on an already weakened 4-bar move.  Lysandre's grid expansion handles everything, providing tremendous buffs to both types of damage, as well as Downside Up, which is just hysterical.   Including all of this in one set that also allows him to keep Healthy Buffer 5?  Lysandre has become an absolute menace.  Nothing short of CS offense parameter syncs can stop him.

Best Outfit There are so many good ones, but I think I'm gonna say Champion Serena.  Bit of recency bias, but it's so good it made me pull for Greninja.  I, known Greninja Hater, pulled for a Greninja, because Serena's outfit was so good.  I can't think of anything that outdoes that.

Best Sync Pair "Okay, now it has to be SST Red."  And it would be, but same rules apply to "Best Master Fair."  In that I do not value what he does that much.  I recognize he solos the game.  I also feel like bypassing all need to teambuild or strategize is a problem, not a benefit.

So we're setting that aside, in which case, my selection is obvious to anyone who's been here for like a week: it's SS Kris.  I'm going to differentiate "Best Pair" from "Best Master Fair" by stating that the master fair category will look at their total range of effectiveness and their relative success within that role.  In which, Lyra is uncontested.  She helps so much, and does something only she can do.  But Best Sync Pair, I think, is going to be more about how significant an impact they had, and how unique their particular niche is.  Flinch chaining and sleep chaining are not new.  Yes, Lyra is by far the most successful.  But we're looking for range of success.

SS Kris does.  Uniquely, SS Kris does.  Ingo and SS Morty are the other two with similar success, alongside the new Champion Calem.  But it is SS Kris who actively salvaged multiple targets.  Clair, NY!Lance, Winona; units that desperately needed the Rain, but also needed massive offensive support, and held types that were outside of the natural Rain multiplier for Water.  There are a lot of these.  And like all of Johtrio, Kris functions perfectly at 1/5 thanks to natural MP Burst.  All she needs is first sync, and she's able to get three uses of Rain Dance, and even guaranteed caps special attack/crit.

I will acknowledge Kris' flaws.  She does take longer to boost those needed offenses, and needs to utilize rain early for stacks of special moves up next.  I am aware.  But the range of impact that Kris had was far beyond anything any other sync pair has provided me.  She is unreal, being perfect for Rain, the literal savior of multiple units, and often an ideal pick for specially offensive units broadly due to her unique combination of moves up and offensive parameter buffing.  Kris is just perfect.  Unless you're physical, in which case, take it up with Ingo or Calem.

Best Common Grid (my own addition) I am putting this in contrast to "most effective common," which is still Roxanne.  Girl really just needed MPR and Endure, and by god she got it.  But her grid also sucks and is costly and poorly laid out, so no.  We need another.

And I'm saying it's Cheryl.  Cheryl's kinda fallen off here, but I do still love and respect her.  Cheryl's grid got amazing tools, including the coveted natural Vigilance.  She was able to cap special attack, and buff speed while doing it.  MPR on a Potion that buffs defenses made her tremendous in Gauntlet.  Really, if it weren't for her pitifully low physical defense, Cheryl would be unreal.  But every common suffers some kind of horrific flaw, and that's Cheryl's.  Truth be told though, she can handle a surprising number of physical hits in Gauntlet, just not CS with offensive parameters being as they are.

[supercool-here]

I'm on strike because I don't want staff to change this hell site, but I needed to post this because where else can I talk about unimportant events of my life that just felt meaningful to me????

So I went out with my sister because she needed to go to the bank, and on the way there we ran into our aunt so we stopped to say hi, and while we were talking some people came out of the building my aunt's office is at, and one of them was this guy I know from school, and because my brain has fun storing random useless information and I have fun regurgitating it; that guy's name is Leo, he is a year younger than me, and we went to the same schools for elementary school and middle school, he is cute and I know/remember his name because he was popular. Back to the story, I saw him and looked away but noticed that he has grown up quite handsomely. Not that he wasn't handsome before, but since he's always been a year younger, he always seemed just "cute" to me, but now he is grown up and I wouldn't be able to tell he is a year younger than me because he does look my age and I appreciate his handsome. He totally grew up to his potential, put in very vain terms, and I apologize. Anyway, we parted from our aunt and resumed our way to the bank. We got there. My sister and I were talking about her day. And she indicated me to click "yes it's me" on the ATM but I didn't hear the first, nor the second time, and this is something that happens quite a lot with me, I have a hearing deficiency that I don't know to which body part pin, is it my ears? Is it my brain? Is it ADHD? We don't know! So my sister (a doctor, btw, the medicine kind) said to me, half jokingly, half seriously; maybe you're depressed, a lack of concentration is one of the first symptoms. But, before she had said that, almost a few seconds after I realized she had given me an instruction and I did not understand it, the guy, Leo, had entered the bank. The bank was empty except for the three of us, Leo, my sister and I. He took to an ATM near the entrance. And my sister's comment took place just as we were walking by Leo, making our way out of the bank. So he probably heard that I might be depressed. It's not embarrassing, and I did not reply in such a way that would indicate I was embarrassed. Except, when I thought about it, it did seem funny. He probably doesn't know me, let alone remember me. But to me, almost everything that happens in my life has to be part of the narrative, because I grew up watching TV and movies and reading books and I have this belief, ingrained in my head, that my life is a story, leading to something exciting, and therefore everything must amount to something, and everything must be compelling, everything must have a meaning, and everything must have a reason to be. So, in those terms, what had just happened was that me, a lame girl, had been seen at her poor-looking state, by a handsome younger former classmate, who also learned that she might be depressed. If I take off my "my life must follow a storyline to make sense and I'm guessing the plot" and put on my "objective reality" glasses, I realize that's not what happened. Things just happened and that's that. And I might need to see a therapist.

[randomencounters]

Random Dungeon Generator

Now you can randomly generate a dungeon for adventuring in, assuming you’re okay with a campaign where you’re equally likely to find a monster pit and a breakfast nook. It’s always bugged me that these forts and lairs and palaces are all called “Dungeons”, but that seems to be the accepted term for “place where you go adventuring”, so here ya go; the plot’s up to you, homeys

(image source)

For each room whose number of exits isn’t clearly dictated, roll d4 for number of obvious exits, roll d6 (1-5 no secret exits, 6 a hidden exit), d20 for location of each (1-6 forward, 7-12 left, 13-18 right, 19 up, 20 down), and d12 for the door (1-4 unlocked, 5-8 normal locked, 9-10 magically locked, 11-12 trap). The room contents will generally be dictated by the room’s description, but the DM can throw stuff in as needed. You can also roll for how many squares wide, long, and tall each room is if that sounds fun.

Throne room

Stairs to next floor up

Stairs to next floor down

Treasure chamber

Monster lair / habitat / pen

Monster breeding chamber

Orrery / observatory

Alchemy laboratory

Weapon storage

Armor storage

Stable / garage / carhole

Magic portal chamber

Divination/summoning chamber

Torture chamber

Dungeon (regular)

Dungeon (sexy)

(Looks in the official Dungeon Master’s Guide for a similar table) Salon? Like a hair salon or a nail salon? Oh I guess they mean like a parlor where you go to have fancy chats. One of those

Shrine to major god

Shrine to minor god

Shrine to owner’s ancestors

Shrine to celebrity

Reliquary

Vestry

Hallway (roll d20 for number of doors)

Library / study

Map room

Gallery of ancestral portraits

Gallery of antique statuary

Gallery of trophies and conquests

Gallery of magical, haunted, and cursed objects

Gallery of some dumb shit that the owner likes to collect, like soda memorabilia or FunkoPops

Gallery of a weird post-modern installation

Crypt for an important figure

Crypt for family/ancestors of the owner

Swimming pool

Well for drinking water

Well where they keep and raise fish for food

Well where they keep and raise aquatic monsters

Trash pit

Lava pit

Spike pit

Acid pit

Ball pit

Conversation pit

Ballroom

Smoking lounge

Meat smoker

Guardroom

Game-room

Concert hall / home theatre

Master bedroom

Unused guest bedroom

Private chamber of a cool teen

Private chamber of a lame teen

Private chamber of a teen that takes martial arts way too seriously

Private chamber of a cool old person

Private chamber of a religious ascetic

Private chamber of the owner’s personal attendant

Servants’ quarters

Servants’ breakroom

Healer’s chamber

Rumpus-room

Aviary / chicken coop

Dairy

Ophidiarium

Apiary / vespiary

Kitchen

Dining room

Breakfast nook

Spice pantry

Liquor cabinet

Walk-in humidor

Saucery, which is apparently an entire room dedicated to sauces that they used to have in medieval castles

Still room / brewery

Wine cellar

Pickle cellar

Cellar full of creepy unfinished taxidermy

Cheese cave

Man cave

Bathroom

Caldarium

Tepidarium

Frigidarium

Calefactory / pisalis

Executive office

Middle management office

Cubicle-farm for low-level bureaucrats

Supply closet

Janitorial closet

Laundry room

Room that looks like it probably used to be an office or a study or something but now it’s just storage for, like, papers and old exercise equipment and junk that they keep meaning to donate to a thrift store. You know the rooms I mean, your parents probably have one

Mailroom

Exercise room

Lecture hall

Grow room for mushrooms

Grow room for poisonous plants

Grow room for unpalatable root vegetables

Grow room for exotic fruits

Grow room for “medicinal” herbs

Suspiciously empty room

[maxwell-grant]

Thoughts on Mortal Kombat's favorite Jackass, Johnny Cage?

A lot of times when people bring up the more comedic characters in franchises as "the actual/objective best character", it's usually done so in ironic or semi-ironic jest, like that "Dan Hibiki is the Streetest Fighter" gag, but I'm not being ironic in the slightest when I say that Johnny Cage is genuinely a serious contender for The Best Mortal Kombat Character, and it frankly wouldn't even be close if his design and moveset had that "it" factor that other characters like Goro and Raiden and the ninjas had.

The worst thing you can say about Johnny Cage is that his fatalities and moveset used to be lame for most of MK's history and that the games didn't consistently tap into his appeal until MK9. But by the time he was tattooing his name on his chest, fulfilling the same role in the MK9 Story Mode that he did for the movie, breaking his glasses and getting identical replacements for every win pose, and also doing stuff like karate-chopping heads to shove Oscars in the vacant neck holes, that's when they started going somewhere with him.

Johnny Cage was the first character we shot, so he’s like the father of Mortal Kombat. When we were shooting him, we did every movement we could think of to try to get some kind of idea of what path to take during the game.

People think Johnny Cage is based on Van Damme because that’s what the game was supposed to be, but he was really modeled after Danny Rand, AKA Iron Fist. Same thing with Jax, who is actually modeled after Power Man. So we goof around and say that this was really the first crossover, because we were inspired by Marvel comic books, but the game’s owned by DC.

Johnny Cage was first, and my original idea for his fatality was to punch the guy so hard that his head goes flying off. But then John was like, because Van Damme had said no, “You want to poke a little bit of fun at Van Damme?” And I was like, “Uh, what do you got in mind?” He was like, “You can do the splits, and we’ll have him punch people in the nuts.” So I did that - An oral history of Mortal Kombat

I think a lot of what works about Johnny Cage, where other funnyman fighting game characters don't, is that Johnny started out unique in his own way, too. While visually he was just a dude in tights, he made a hell of an impression in the first game. Not just because of the Nut Shot, unheard of in fighting games at the time and still pretty rare even now ever since Cage made a name as “the fighting game character that punches you in the dick”, but also thanks to his fist-pump-and-sunglasses victory pose that kind of immediately established him in MK1 as the character with the most personality, even before you knew he had this movie star background, character traits the movie would wind up expanding on as it essentially defined much of Cage’s role and personality going forward. 

I suspect he’s probably the favorite character for the devs to write because so much of the dialogue and jokes surrounding him comes out so naturally. He has terrific interactions with everyone in the cast whether they’re hero and villain, they get to insert as many references and in-gags as they like in said lines and still be in character, they get to constantly refer to his in-universe film career and make interactions out of what the characters think of it (still love that he only has one in-cast fan, in Tremor), really, Johnny Cage’s personality is so much more well-defined than that of most (if not all) other characters, even today, that in MK11 he was one of the few characters who was given the honor of being an Announcer, a honor that’s only reserved for Boss characters and characters with deep and impactful voices (Raiden and Robocop). Johnny Cage was the exception because the devs rightfully knew people would wanna hear Johnny Cage get to roast and name-call everyone. Johnny really is a league of his own in terms of characterization.

Johnny's always had not only a unique hook and niche, but an important niche in the cast, as the funny human character who’s out of his depth next to all of these gods and monsters and warriors, who gets to be vain and goofy and as humiliated as he is humiliating to fight against, and he gets to be at genuine risk since his storyline contract wasn’t death-proofed until the reboot (and even then, Cage still gets the shit kicked out of him a lot, and usually in ways that hurt a lot more than what usually befalls guys like Scorpion or Liu Kang). I’d argue Cage is the most successful comic-relief character in fighting games partially because, unlike other comic-relief goofballs like Dan Hibiki or Paul Phoenix, Johnny Cage is part of a franchise that for the most part (that is, regrettable exceptions like Bo’Rai Cho aside), really, really doesn’t have any explicitly funny characters, or even that many human characters. 

It’s one thing for a cartoon character to exist in a setting that’s already skewed towards funny or cartoony or silly characters, but when the game is fought between realistic-looking designs and the setting is an eternal life-and-death struggle between vicious superpowered murderers who, even at their most benign, commit unspeakable acts of gore and torture as a player reward with the fate of Earth and the universe hanging in the balance, having one character who’s both a lot more lighthearted than the others, as well as the one most prone to looking at it and going “hey, that’s kinda fucked though, I don’t wanna kill weird lizard dudes I don’t know just cause an old man’s telling me to do it”, goes a long way to making him stand out and also ensuring that his jokes land, even when they’re not that funny. His jokes don’t even need to be consistently that funny or well-written, the fact that he’s a self-obsessed douchebag boomer goes a long way in ensuring even the most childish or basic insults are still in-character, but the fact that he’s cracking these kinds of zingers against these monsters and badasses at all in open defiance to them and their power definitely is also part of what makes him endearing to the audience.

Johnny’s a comic relief character who really emphasizes the “relief” part of the term, and there’s an interesting contrast with Johnny in that he’s got this laundry list of character flaws that all the others will extensively comment on, but on the other hand, he’s also consistently one of the most decent people in the entire setting and one of the most unambiguously heroic characters. Unlike a lot of other MK anti-heroes who will switch allegiances on a dime, it’s never into question that Johnny will fight for Earthrealm and even sacrifice himself to fight in the name of good and protect his world and his family.

I also realize that I’m saying this about a character who I just described as one who will karate chop skulls to then stuff trophies into the leftovers for an ironic gag, the same character who rips people in two and then holds their dangling torsos to pull off the world’s shittiest ventriloquist dummy act, something you can have him do against his wife and child but, look, it’s Mortal Kombat, you kinda have to get used to everyone turning into a bloodthirsty psychopath at your command no matter how they’re otherwise written in lore. Also, it’s funny and that goes a long way. 

Despite the way I’m describing it, I actually think Mortal Kombat is really, really silly a lot of the time and that’s actually how I tend to prefer enjoying it, and I definitely appreciate when the devs have fun packing humor into it as well (I know this is gonna sound lame or whatever but I actually like the Friendships more so than pretty much most Fatalities. I think they paint a more interesting picture of the characters (even if inaccurate) and they make me appreciate the characters more, even those I’m otherwise indifferent to), so I’m definitely not opposed to Johnny Cage being around making a fool of himself and everyone else, if anything he usually makes the Story Modes of these games more bearable for me.

I also really like what they’ve been doing with him character-wise since the reboot, not just in terms of his humor but also in his general role in the plot. I like that they’ve let him age and mature, have a kid who’s the next-gen protagonist in her own right and who one-ups her old man by punting people in the groin so hard their spine and skull wind up ejected out of their body, and let Johnny come on his own as a family man and warrior and hero, even putting him next to his younger version for contrast to show how far he’s come, and yeah I absolutely think the character deserves props for actually having consistent character development across the games, and for them to have turned him into a genuine family man on top of a great hero. They’ve let Johnny Cage mature and grow real nicely without having him lose what makes him funny and entertaining. I think he’s a really, really solid, well-made character who has consistently some of the best lines and moments of all characters, he’s not quite my favorite (although he’s definitely in the Top 5) but I could very well agree with the idea that he’s overall the best character. 

I especially love also how lately they’ve been further incorporating actor antics into his playstyle, giving him moves where he summons a stunt double, bashes your skull or stabs you with his trophiesm does a mime act that can lead to a Brutality where he smashes your skull with an invisible door, having him stun opponents with a camera flash which can melt their face off, bump into a boom mic between rounds, using said boom mic to impale opponents through the mouth and then doing a mic check, and that absolute 10/10 Fatality where he’s trying to uppercut someone’s head off poorly and they have to keep redoing the takes while he gets frustrated, before he just throws the head against the camera and literally breaks the 4th wall even further. I absolutely love this direction they’ve taken with his moveset and I would love to see it get pushed even further. 

It’s hard to even fault Johnny Cage for having that much of an ego when, not only is he a genuine badass and funny hero, but it’s so readily apparent his creators have a blast writing stuff for him, he’s gotta be at minimum the favorite character of at least someone in the MK staff. He’s like the one character who actively allows for the dumb jokes that have consistently defined MK’s sense of humor, to the point they canonized his Friendship (a character-breaking show of sillyness for most other cast members ) where he gives an autographed picture of his face to an opponent as something he just does on the regular, and even his new Friendship where he does the Warner Bros Frog Dance is comparatively tame compared to all the other bullshit Johnny gets up to on the regular like win poses where he poses his own action figures. I don’t actually have to work very hard to come up with texts of positive stuff to say about Johnny Cage, I just have to describe all the great stuff that he already does in the games. His appeal is incredibly self-evident as well as his role as one of the greatest and most iconic of fighting game characters. 

Frankly I wish he’d get into more crossovers, the way the ninjas or Raiden seem to. He seems like a great and ideal character to have show up in just about anything, as clueless and out-of-his-depth as he was when he first started in the tournament but not letting that stop him from being a great hero and an even greater jackass to whoever has the misfortune of being in ear-shot of him. He’s a ready-made magnet for other characters to insult or reference having history with, as much as he’s the kind of character you can very easily have fun with imagining the ways he’d interact with a different cast of characters for him to antagonize and be antagonized by. Cage just has it all.

[deusluxuria]

[badly edited image of johnny's head edited onto a stock photo of a person holding up a stop sign]

Hi, it's me, a disabled person.

Here's some basic info because of some worrying things I see in the JJBA fandom in regards to Johnny and other disabled characters.

Reblogs are very much encouraged and appreciated, by anyone of any group (meaning, yes, you can reblog this if you're not disabled).

Image text:

ABLEISM

a-ble-ism \ 'ābə-,li-zəm \

noun

A system that places value on people's bodies and minds based on societally constructed ideas of normality, intelligence, excellence, desirability, and productivity. These constructed ideas are deeply rooted in anti-Blackness, eugenics, misogyny, colonialism, imperialism and capitalism.

This form of systemic oppresion leads to people and society determining who is valuable and worthy based on a person's language, appearance, religion and/or their ability to satisfactorily [re]produce, excel and "behave."

You do not have to be disabled to experience ableism.

a working definition by Talila "TL" Lewis*; updated January 2021

*developed in community with Disabled Black & other negatively racialized people, especially Dustin Gibson

__________

These are some ableist slurs: crippled/crippling, retarded, demented, deranged, diffability, handicapped, handicapable, cretin, moron, inane, mental (as a non-medical adjective)

Some ableist language: wheelchair bound / bound to a wheelchair / confined to a wheelchair, lame (in reference to a disability), invalid (as a noun), psychotic (as an adjective), autistic (as an adjective), mute (to describe a nonspeaking person)

More ableist slurs & language usage, and more about ableist language:

https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html?m=1

Some disabled people not being bothered by some of these words/terms doesn't mean these words are less harmful or dehumanizing for other disabled people.

Just because abled people have normalized this usage of language doesn't make it okay.

Getting rid of ableist slurs & ableist language usage isn't the most important thing & it's not gonna get rid of ableism, but it's important & helpful to think about.

Some disabled people prefer identity-first language and find it empowering (i.e. I'm disabled / a disabled person). Some strongly prefer person-first language ("person with a disability").

Being disabled is not a tragedy. It's ableist to pity a disabled person solely because of the fact they're disabled.

Disabled people do have sex. -- Also, when it comes to talking about ableism & the infantilization / dehumanization of disabled people in regards to sex, the term is "desexualized," not asexual. Asexuality is an identity. Desexualization is to talk about someone in a dehumanizing way that suggests a lack of sexuality, in contradiction to the person's own sexual identity. (I.e. suggesting a disabled person does not have sex or does not experience sexual desire on account of the fact they're disabled).

Disabled people are not objects. You need our consent before you touch us or our belongings and mobility aids (i.e. wheelchair, cane).

Some disabled people need to use diapers, catheters, colostomy bags. Some disabled people can't shower/bathe/generally look after their hygiene as often or as well as some people's standards. Making fun of this is ableist.

Disability is not privilege, it's the opposite. (Yes, even if you can't work and get to fight with the government so they can give you some pennies every month while graciously restricting you from being able to get married or afford a house or even a 1bedroom apartment if you want them to keep throwing pennies at you).

A disabled white supremacist / fascist / bigot is still a white supremacist / fascist / bigot.

Do not compare marginalizations. As in, don't compare ableism & racism (i.e. this [ableist thing] is like when [racist thing]). Unless you yourself are part of all the marginalized identities you're comparing. Otherwise, doing this is exploitive to the marginalized groups you're comparing to.

If you're not disabled, you don't get to speak for us or decide what's ableist and what isn't.

We have a big community on Twitter if you want to know more. We post under the hashtag "#DisabilityTwitter"

Thanks!!

[thedeliverygod]

THANK YOU THANK FUCK

Kingdom Hearts 2 is objectively one of the worst games of the series for multiple reasons and KINGDOM HEARTS III does a lot of things SO WELL.

I recently told my friend "I think the whole 'disappointed because of ideals/fantasies' about KH3 that ruined a lot of people's experience with it is how I feel about KH2" because I've been with the series since practically day 1 bby.

and chain of memories was written SO WELL. And KH2 was just... not. It had a lot of awkwardness and just bad writing. And to be frank, bad voice direction. And in terms of gameplay the reaction commands are just cutscenes that do damage half of the time and it's just lame. The games that followed KH2 did a much better job of developing the battle system to make it more interactive and FUN.

I will forever die on the hill that KH3 was a great game and KH2 is only so well loved because of nostalgia and the fact that it was a lot of people's first experience with the KH series.

Data Sora is a stronger protagonist than TAV in BBS and Riku and Sora in DDD but no one is ready for this conversation

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

MICK SCHUMACHER ONESHOT

WARDROBE PALAVER

( WARNING: fluff, swearing )

summary: putting together a wardrobe requires another set of helping hands

{ requested by anon }

word count: 1.5k

Unfortunately you were never one of the lucky souls in the world that harnessed the privilege and ability to read for a long period of time without getting distracted by the world around you. Science textbooks for school, terms and conditions on websites (but who could ever truthfully say they’d read the entirety of those things?) and instruction manuals, the latter of which was increasingly more frustrating than the others.

You’d honestly never imagined that a wardrobe could cause such hassle and distress in your life, but the scrunched up manual and broken pencil would certainly have something to say.

In fact, that damn instruction booklet had managed get under your skin to such an extent you had to tidy all the equipment away to one side of your bedroom and hide the creased booklet away in Mick’s drawer under a pile of clothes, and even out of sight you swore you could feel it taunting you.

Mick called you crazy when you first told him after he flew back home from a race weekend.

He seemed to be regretting his choice of words because he was crouched in front of you, his brows pulled together in a half frown, hands slowly losing colour due to the tight clench he had on the instructions.

He knew that you knew he’d never tell you he’d had enough or lost his patience with something, he was never one to admit defeat easily, but his patience was wearing infuriatingly thin and you were afraid the vein visible on his forehead would burst from exasperation.

“Do you want me to—”

“I’m okay.” He interrupted, his tone light but the stormy expression on his face contradicting his words.

“I don’t believe you.” You muttered, fiddling with one of the many rings decorating your fingers, uncaring as to whether or not he actually heard you.

“I promise, I’m fine, I know what I’m doing.” He had the nerve to offer a reassuring, albeit shaky smile, and you’d never wanted to hide someone from the horrors of the world more.

Mick Schumacher was way too pure for your own good.

“You’ve been staring at that one page for half an hour, and if you’re not careful those frown lines are gonna be permanent.” You laughed, heaving yourself off the bed and crouching down next to him, slowly peeling his fingers off the paper. The struggle to hold in a hysterical laugh was starting to get harder.

He sighed, letting you take away the paper, before rubbing his eyes and casting a glance out of the window.

“It’s dark already? I thought you said we’d only been doing it for half an hour?” He asked, turning his head to watch you fold the manual back up.

“I said you’d been looking at that one page for half an hour, but you’ve been trying to put everything together for about two hours now.” You stated.

His eyes widened and he ran a hand through his hair, moving to pick up the pole he’d managed to put together.

“I’ve only done this in two hours?” He asked in utter disbelief.

It seemed as if the universe had it out for him, because just as he held up the pole, it fell apart in his hands, one object, once again, becoming two.

“Well, time flies when you’re having fun.” You offered lamely, reopening the manual and trying your best to decipher the series of diagrams and descriptions.

“Some fun I’ve been having, then.” Mick muttered, sarcasm dripping from his words as he stood up, making his way to his bedside table, before taking a gulp of water from the glass he’d put there earlier.

You looked up from the paper, eyes scanning the various unpacked pieces of plastic, as you struggled to find the likeness between the products and it’s drawing.

“Well, it says we’re supposed to attach the brackety things to the side things with the nails or whatever those are, but I see no brackety things and I have no nails.”

Mick made his way back over to you, peering at where you were pointing on the paper.

“Unless…” you trailed off, starting to tip empty boxes upside down, “Nope, not in the boxes.”

You sighed, putting your hands on your hips and fighting the urge to kick one of the boxes because, once again, you’d been bested by a sheet of paper.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Mick asked, slinging an arm over your shoulder with a grin on his face.

“Don’t say Sici—”

“Sicily.” He ignored your pleas, turning his attention to you with a fond smile.

“You and I remember Sicily very differently.” You rolled your eyes and patted his chest, smirking when he tensed slightly under your touch.

“I don’t think we do, you know,” he argued, using the arm slung across your shoulders to draw you closer into an embrace.

“Yes. We absolutely remember it differently — I thought we agreed to never talk about it?”

“You did, I didn’t.” Mick said, smiling as you leant your forehead against his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso.

There was a sharp knock against the bedroom door, startling both yourself and Mick, who looked at you, blue eyes full of questions.

“I’m going to open the door now, will I be scarred by what I see?” A deep voice rang out from behind the door, and you shook your head at the familiar tone, ignoring Mick’s confused expression.

“No, you can come in,” You said, untangling yourself from Mick’s hold, missing the way he frowned at the loss of contact.

The door flung open, revealing your younger cousin, Sonny, in all his glory, fresh with a new haircut and a grin so wide it looked as if it physically hurt to maintain.

At the sight of him, Mick’s eyes went wide with realisation.

“I almost didn’t recognise you, did your voice break over the summer?” He asked, grin broadening as the smaller boy wrapped his arms around his middle in a short hug.

“Yup, and I lost my braces and grew like, 5 inches,” Sonny boasted, eyes still glued to Mick, even as you ruffled his hair.

“And he also got a qualification in engineering and being able to put stuff together, so he’s agreed to help us out.” You stated, passing Sonny the instruction manual and TV remote.

“Engineering? Think you’re going to set up in F1?” Mick asked, lips curling upwards as the boy nodded enthusiastically.

“That’s the plan.” Sonny answered, still staring at Mick in awe.

“Right, so we,” you grabbed Mick’s hand, dragging him towards the door, “Are going to be downstairs, if you need anything, shout us and you can do whatever you want with the TV, just don’t break it, okay?” You asked Sonny, heart melting at his eagerness and excitement at the mess on the floor.

“Is there anything missing?” He asked, and you felt Mick squeeze your hand.

“Um…a packet of nail things, I think,” you answered honestly, squinting your eyes slightly.

Sonny nodded thoughtfully, before squatting down to the floor, producing a small, clear bag full of what looked like the missing pieces to the puzzle.

You felt Mick let out an embarrassed groan from behind you, “Um, yeah -- anyway, we’ll be downstairs. Good luck!” Mick rushed out, pulling you through the door with one last wave at the confused teenager, before the door slammed shut in front of you.

You waited until you were both in the safety of the kitchen and out of range of any ears before you both burst into laughter.

“Hold on, are we paying him?” Mick asked, a curious glint in his eye.

You shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Wh—how much? Knowing you it’d be £5.”

“£100.” You stated.

Mick spluttered slightly, furrowing his brows, “What for?”

“I said £50 and he agreed with me but then told me to pay him another £50 otherwise he’d blab about Child Labour Laws…or something like that.”

“He’s not 16?” Mick recoiled, shock lacing his system at that fact.

“That’s what you picked up from that? A 15 year-old child blackmailed me because I asked for a favour, and all you care about is the fact that he’s not 16?”

“If he’s not 16, how did he get an engineering qualification?”

“He blackmailed me!” You repeated, hands clenching at your sides.

“How did he get an engineering qualification?” Mick moved closer.

“Because he’s smart! And he blackmailed me!” You yelled, and you were sure Sonny would be able to hear the commotion from upstairs.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh, piss off.” You rolled your eyes.

“There's an idea.” He muttered, leaning his forehead on yours.

“I don’t know why I put up with you.” You whispered.

“Because we are, what I call, in love.” He whispered back, his eyes unabashedly flicking to your lips.

“Oh, is that what that feeling is? I could have sworn it was feeling the need to throw something at you.” You retorted, slowly inching your lips closer to his.

“You have terrible aim.”

“It’s selective. My high school netball team can back me on that, I was a shooter.” You lied easily.

“You were?”

“No, goalkeeper.”

“That sounds more like it, honestly.” He rolled his eyes, nose nudging yours.

“Are you trying to say I’m terrible at throwing?” You breathed, lips barely brushing his, distracting him from your hand slowly reaching for a spare spoon on the counter.

“Your words not mine—ouch!”